Hello everyone,
I know it has been quite some time since I have posted, and so for that I apologize. However I am back here to talk to you all about Active Listening and how it can improve your relationships (whether they be romantic, platonic, or something in between!)
Now some of you may already have this knowledge, and that's wonderful! Be that as it may, it is always nice to get a friendly reminder. Attached below is a nice activity sheet that describes how to harness and improve on this important skill.
What is active listening overall, and why does it matter? To simplify, active listening is the ability to have all of your attention solely on a person, or people. It is the ability to hear, understand, and respond thoughtfully. Generically speaking, active listeners use verbal and non-verbal techniques to interact with the person (or people) in any given setting,
This interpersonal communication skill is not only crucial to personal lives, but also can be crucial in the workplace. Utilizing this skill improves your overall relationships with others, and shows the speaker(s) that you are focused and engaged to the topic(s) at hand.
Indeed.com (one of the top websites that helps folks gain employment) has a wonderful list that I will share with you all that explains both verbal and non-verbal ways to bolster up your active listening skill:
Verbal active listening skills
Paraphrase: Summarize the main point(s) of the message the speaker shared to show you fully understand their meaning. This will also give the speaker an opportunity to clarify vague information or expand their message. Example: “So what you’re saying is, your current content management system no longer meets your teams’ technical needs because it doesn’t support large video files.”
Ask open-ended questions: Ask questions that show you’ve gathered the essence of what they’ve shared, and guides them into sharing additional information. Make sure these questions cannot be answered with a simple “yes” or “no.” Example: “You’re right—the onboarding procedure could use some updating. What changes would you want to make to the process over the next six months?”
Ask specific probing questions: Ask direct questions that guide the reader to provide more details about the information they’ve shared or narrow down a broad subject or topic. Example: “Tell me more about your current workload. Which of these projects is the most time consuming?”
Use short verbal affirmations: Short, positive statements will help the speaker feel more comfortable and show you’re engaged and able to process the information they’re providing. Small verbal affirmations help you continue the conversation without interrupting the speaker or disrupting their flow. Example: “I understand.” “I see.” “Yes, that makes sense.” “I agree.”
Display empathy: Make sure the speaker understands you’re able to recognize their emotions and share their feelings. By showing compassion, rather than just feeling it, you’re able to connect with the speaker and begin establishing a sense of mutual trust. Example: “I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this problem. Let’s figure out some ways I can help.”
Share similar experiences: Discussing comparable situations will not only show the speaker you’ve successfully interpreted their message, but it can also assist in building relationships. If the speaker has shared a problem, providing input from how you solved similar challenges is valuable to others. Example: “I had a tough time getting started with this program, too. But it gets much easier. After just a few weeks, I felt completely comfortable using all the features.”
Recall previously shared information: Try to remember key concepts, ideas or other critical points the speaker has shared with you in the past. This demonstrates you’re not only listening to what they’re saying currently, but you’re able to retain information and recall specific details. Example: “Last week you mentioned adding a more senior coordinator to help with this account, and I think that’s a great idea.”
Non-verbal active listening skills
Nod: Offering the speaker a few simple nods shows you understand what they’re saying. A nod is a helpful, supportive cue, and doesn’t necessarily communicate that you agree with the speaker—only that you’re able to process the meaning of their message.
Smile: Like a nod, a small smile encourages a speaker to continue. However, unlike a nod, it communicates you agree with their message or you’re happy about what they have to say. A smile can take the place of a short verbal affirmation in helping to diffuse any tension and ensure the speaker feels comfortable.
Avoid distracted movements: Being still can communicate focus. To do this, try and avoid movements like glancing at your watch or phone, audibly sighing, doodling or tapping a pen. You should also avoid exchanging verbal or non-verbal communications with others listening to the speaker. This can make the speaker feel frustrated and uncomfortable.
Maintain eye contact: Always keep your eyes on the speaker and avoid looking at other people or objects in the room. Just be sure to keep your gaze natural, using nods and smiles to ensure you’re encouraging them rather than making the speaker feel intimidated or uneasy.
Thank you all for your time, and happy listening!
-Anthony Mathias, MA
References
Active Listening Skills: Definition and Examples. (2020, July 24). Retrieved August 18, 2020, from https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/active-listening-skills/
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